Of course now there's online dating, speed dating, mixers, clubs, bars, and even work. So how do you go about sorting through these possibilites? Well, let me make it easy for you.
TO ALL FUTURE SIGNIFICANT OTHERS, HERE IS MY RESUME TO BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND:
To whom it may concern,
My name is Cara and I am uniquely qualified for the position of (insert name here)'s girlfriend, soul mate, and life partner. Enclosed you will find my resume, which details my extensive dating and relationship experience. I would like to point out that I am a dedicated and independent girlfriend, a self-starter and very loyal. I also have completed considerable research on the topic of love, including countless hours reading dating/relationship blogs, a subscriber to Cosmo magazine and watching romantic comedies.
In addition to my observational studies of human romantic relationships, I have dedicated a substantial amount of my research to experimentation. My last serious position, a relationship of close to ten years where I married the bum, taught me many things about love. It helped me know what I want, what I deserve, and how immensely strong I really am. I believe the lessons I learned from this relationship, as well as my other relationships detailed in my resume, greatly prepare me for my next role: (insert name here)'s girlfriend, soul mate and life partner.
Per your request, I also included my weaknesses in my resume. As I am dedicated to self-improvement, I am working vigorously to improve upon my weaknesses to become a better life partner.
Thank you very much for this opportunity and your time to review my materials. I look forward to talking with you further about this exciting position.
Sincerely,
Cara
Cara Ann
Colorado Springs, CO
To obtain a fulfilling and rewarding position as (insert name here)’s girlfriend, soul mate and life partner.
.
EXPERIENCE
Pseudo girlfriend (December 2013-March 2014); (short recess in February 2014)
Served as a pseudo girlfriend for a local Army Mechanic. While this relationship is structured as having no titles, we hung out at least once a week and texted each other daily. Going out to eat at new restaurants and spending lazy Sundays planning to do things – and then never really doing them – key components of this relationship. Filled with mild confusion and general “let’s enjoy it while it lasts” attitude.
Girlfriend; Fiancée; Wife (November 2004-July 2013)
A committed and loving girlfriend for five years (through two deployments), and fiancée and wife for five years (Through another deployment.) Handled many challenges, including health problems and differences of politics and opinion. Successfully lived with my partner, including sharing responsibilities for housework and finding innovative ways to share our space. Multiple vacations, romantic moments and promises of forever. Diligently planned a beautiful wedding. This relationship proved my ability to love almost unconditionally, and willingness to commit my life to one person. The survival of the end of this relationship proved my internal strength and ability to love myself.
Dates and Other Romantic Encounters (August 2003- November 2004)
Romantic encounters with Unbelievably Smart Guy, Emo Guy, Doctor Man and Police Officer, among others. Also dabbled in online dating on several fun occasions. Through these experiences, improved my dating skills and obtained experience in the art of the awkward first kiss. The results were remarkable: For most, it resulted in the request of a second date. More importantly, had a lot of fun in these roles and learned a few lessons in the process.
Other Various Positions (Youth-Present)
Served in various other random positions, with individuals including Chipplebee's Guys; Cheater, Cheater Pumpkin Eater Guy; Nice Hair Guy; Hot Gym Guy; Geeky Theatre Crush Guy; The One Who Got Away; Pilot Guy, Infantry Guy, and Short Guy.Other Positions Held, Resources Available Upon Request.
EDUCATION
In the past 30 years, viewed countless romantic comedies, read many novels of love and seduction, and observed relationships of all ages. Own the comprehensive DVD collection of Bridget Jones movies and have memorized He's Not That Into You and Love Actually.
Come from a family of many years of Marriage experience (Fred and Carol Berg- 40 Years) (Rachel and Matt Scherer- Producer of greatest nephew) (Other family examples are exemplary)
AWARDS & ACHIEVEMENTS
While no written record exists of this award, I recall on several occasions hearing a romantic interest say, “Best girlfriend ever!” Although, in the interest of full disclosure, I should mention that this statement was used sarcastically a few times.
Also been given the title of "The One Who Got Away" on numerous occasions.
WEAKNESSES
- Carry some baggage
- Lack of culinary skills/desire (except for desserts)
- Slightly untrusting of men due to previous experiences
- Do not have premium cable package
- Move a lot and travel due to work obligations
- Incapable of parallel parking
- Frequently lost or unable to follow driving directions
- Tend to lose items such as keys, wallets, hats, purses, etc.
- Frequently require car assistance, such as the changing of flat tires and oil changing
- Great job with awesome benefits
- Understand and enjoy sports (Football, basketball, baseball, hockey)
- Able to lift heavy things and open the pickle jar by myself.
- Considerate
- Intelligent
- Expansive gift-giving abilities
- Live alone in a nice apartment with a top-notch Dog
- Independent
- Easily trusted and OFTEN confided in
- Always available for an ear for listening or shoulder to cry on.
- Able to make anyone smile
- Own a flat-screen TV (No matter how small)
- Honest and trustworthy
- Great with parents(Honestly, they absolutely love me!)
- Previous suitors have remarked positively on love-making skills
- No debt
- Not crazy (all the time)
- Very strong future and able to provide for me and a family
- Ability to make the right man laugh, cry, forgive, excel, fight, make-up, take pictures, travel, dream, believe, dance and most of all, love.
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