In the last couple days, I've had several friend approach me, quite upset. When I asked what was wrong, it was one situation or another, however the one thing they all had in common was that someone had betrayed their trust. You see, trust can be the strongest bond any two people can share, however, I promise you, it is as fragil as a butterfly in a hurricane. Once that trust is broken and gone, there is no going back, and I think that's what makes it such a scary emotion.
Whether it's friends or romantic partnerships, relationships are based on certain values that connect you to each other. Trust, communication, respect, commitment, support, risk and progression. (These are my top 7 at least)
Think about your past relationships. Think about your "now" relationships. Think about the best ones, the strongest ones and think about the ones that might not be the healthiest.
For me, the healthiest of them all have a firm base based upon trust. Like I said, it is what I consider to be the base of any healthy relationship. My problem used to be that I trusted very easily. I kept my heart open, I shared my thoughts and feelings and many people took advantage of that. So, rather than beating a dead horse, I simply stopped trusting. When I ask a question to people, all I ask for is honesty because that's what I give them, 100%.
Here's where my personal delema comes in. Even if what is told to me is the truth, unless it hurts me, I don't believe it. That sounds weird and probably a little bit jacked up, and I know it does, but it's what my conscious is telling me.
If you run into a tree branch and get scratched, odds are you're gonna be a little bit more careful through the woods next time. Tread lightly as you will. However, you run through the forest come out the other side and you're broken, bleeding, scratched and in pain, odds are your view of those woods will be bleak and you're going to try to avoid it, and the pain, at all costs. Well, that's how I feel about trust. And right now I'm standing on the edge of that woodline looking in. Do I trust me enough, do I trust my gut and do I follow my heart? Damn those woods.
As any good blogger will tell you, find a cultural reference. I was catching up on my DVR this morning and NCIS came on, and my future ex-husband Gibbs was on speaking about his rules. I love Gibbs' rules and ironically, for a man who trusts his gutt more than people, his wise words echo throughout TV Land. So here are a couple of Gibbs' rules that are so fitting:
Rule 40: If it seems like someone's out to get you, they are.
Rule 42: Don't ever accept an apology from someone that just sucker-punched you.
And I think most importantly for this situation:
Rule 51: Sometimes - you're wrong
I'm not saying don't trust people, because without trust there really is nothing. Opening up my heart was one of my most important New Years Promises to me, and unfortunately that means learning to trust again. The thought scares the hell out of me because I've felt the pain, as have all of you. However, if I follow my gut, and truly believe the world is a beautiful place, I'm ready to clear that path through the woods....
No comments:
Post a Comment