While at work, laughing, having a good time, I realized how happy I am. This was brought to my attention when one of my co-workers came up to me and said "Rainey," (yeah, my uniform still has that name...) he said, "Rainey, stop being so happy and cheery all the time! Be like the rest of us!" Naturally that made me laugh more.
Later I was texting a friend and he made the comment that my happiness is infectious and that I make people feel good. (I was quite flattered because all I do is try to be happy!)
I had another friend point out my optimism in this, what should be, a really BAD time in life. And looking at everything, it really should be. I moved away from most of my family and all my friends, I'm going through a divorce that is turning pretty ugly, I don't get to deploy as early as I want to, I'm pretty much broke all the time!
Rather than looking at it that way however, I prefer to see the silver linings. Sure, I moved away, but I'm meeting some AMAZING new friends and developing a new, strong family in the Army, as well as being close to my amazing blood relatives in Denver (who by the way, I've seen more in one month than I Have the last six years.) Yeah, the divorce is bad, but I'm getting a whole clean slate! Because out of this, I realized I deserve SOOOO much better! I deserve someone I can laugh everyday with, that I'm excited to come home to, someone who I can talk to about anything, someone who shows me chivalry isn't dead! Yeah, I have standards now, and they're pretty high! I realized out of this, that not only do I deserve better, I CAN DO better! So my brigade is JUST coming home from a deployment which means I won't be going overseas until at least 2015. Yeah, I'm SUPER bummed about it, however, that means I get a few extra years here, close to family, my new friends, and who knows what'll blossom in the span of two and a half years! As for the broke thing...well, that'll change with promotions! For now, I have a roof over my head, food on my table, gas in my tank, and LOTS of love!
Sure, there are days where it's incredibly difficult to stay positive. Work sucks, I'm broke, I worry about how long I'll get to stay in, I get extra duty, but honestly, life is damn good! It's taking a lot of self-reflection, but honestly, I am so lucky, happy and blessed, and I have a feeling it's just going to keep on getting better everyday!
P.S. These are the songs that currently make my day the second they come on. I hope they bring smiles to your faces and a little groove in your step (and no...no special meaning or deep thoughts, just songs to get us through the days):
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways! Elizabeth Barrett may have been talking to Robert B., but this goes from me to you, too. You have a beautiful, beautiful heart, and I am always so proud of you. You'll get to stay in. You've always been able to do what you needed to do! And you will continue. LUV YA TONS AND BUNCHES!! XOXOXO M
ReplyDeleteI read a blog post recently (Seth Godin - are you familiar with him?) that talked about how anger is NOT like a cupcake - if you give away a cupcake, you no longer have a cupcake, the person you gave the cupcake to has the cupcake. But ANGER when passed on to someone via roadrage, an ugly conversation, etc. just multiplies and now two people are angry. The flip side of that is happiness! Happiness is the sweet opposite of that, but the principle still definitely applies. So glad you're finding your way, Friend! XO
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