Terrified

So, there are very few things in life that TRULY scare me.  I don't like horror movies, but I can close my eyes and it's gone. Not a fan of tight spaces, but I know I'll get out of it soon.  I want to jump out of planes and I'm working on other little phobias.  There's one thing, however, that every time I think about it, I start doubting everything about life and start shaking in my shoes a bit.

About three weeks and some odd days, I am going to get the measurement. Not just any measurement, THE measurement.  The one that will make me go to the recruiter or not.  Again, I know with the 1% over I'm good to get in, but I want SOOO bad to meet those damn standards.

Part of the reason of this new found fear, is for some reason this past month has been a lot of extra stress.  Colin and I had to move, which means we ate out A LOT!!  We cleaned our fridge out and discovered that Shakopee had many yummy restaurants.  On top of eating out, because I lost my job, I had to take a whole month off bootcamp. That was harder than anything I think. Not only did I not have my butt kicked three days a week, but I got VERY used to sleeping in until 8:30 every morning. Well, when you have no job, I felt I had no reason to get up.  This in turn lead to more laziness and drowsiness.  A vicious cycle.  The whole month was just off!!

So to make up for a BAD month, I've upped the exercise. I've added a lot more running into the program again, I'm back to Gorilla five or six days a week, and best yet, I'm back at my bootcamp.  I did start the 28 days diet again, but for some reason, my body did not take well to it this time.  I think with the stress of all these changes plus then adding a whole new diet, just was too much at once!

Anyway, so maybe it's just a whole bunch of excuses, but all I know is I am so nervous.  August 8th is going to be my official measure date. If all goes well, I'm heading to that recruiter's office August 9th.

Breathe in, breathe out.  Everything WILL happen when it's time. Now I just have to convince myself of that...