You know what I love about my bootcamp class? Not only do I get an amazing workout, I learn something new about me. Either that it's I can push myself to new limits, or even if it's something about my personality, that, I knew was there, deep down somewhere but it was hiding.
Well this morning, standing around chatting, a wonderful fellow bootcamper brought up rolls. She basically was saying how, we, as women especially, seem to take on a lot of them. I'm not saying just doing chores, I'm talking about who we are in life.
Contemplating on the way home (on my quick five minute drive) I thought, I should figure out just who I am. Well, unfortunately that seems to take longer than five minutes. But what better way to figure that out than here, where the whole world can see my most inner thoughts, eh?
So here is a list of who I am. Some are "well, duh!" and others may require a bit of explanation.
1. Wife to the most wonderful, caring hubby and soldier a girl could have. He has allowed me to live my dreams, and never once said "maybe you should just go get a 9 to 5er." He knows I couldn't be happy with just doing that. No matter what, he stands behind me!
2. Daughter to two parents who taught me to be who I am in life. They taught me to always stand my ground, speak my mind and to always be who I am.
3. Mother to my two puppies and one lizard!
4. Strong shoulder- Maybe this includes being a friend, but whenever someone needs a friend, I'm there for them (and I hope all my friends know this!) So many times people ask me "how do you do it?!" Whether it's referring to going through two deployments, or working out like a mo-fo, but again, no matter what, it's just being strong for the people around me. Someones gotta, right? :)
5 .Bootcamper- Three days a week, I'm up at 5 am, ready to go get my bootcamp on. It's helped me become what I am now, and I will always say it has!
6. Future soldier- While "soldier" is not an option, YET, I still try to train everyday, as hard as I can, to be the best I can. Whether it's exercise or daily tasks, I believe a soldier should be strong in everything they do.
7. Boxer- I've found a new love. Whenever I put on those gloves, I feel like a new person. Someone who I've never been before.
8. Fighter- Seriously, don't get in my way! :)
9. Runner- Each time I run, I go for something new. Whether it's a distance or time, I have to push to new limits.
10. Friend- I'm ashamed that this is so far down the list. I have the most supporitve and wonderful friends a girl could ask for, and sometimes I feel like they come, well, 10th in my life. That's not a good thing. I can see now it's time to prioritize a bit!
11.Inspirer- Every day someone tells me "Cara, you're such an inspiration!" Well, I'm just a person and to have people say this constantly, believe it or not, can be very stressing! I love that I can help people reach their goals, but then I feel, if I don't meet mine, that others are going to lose hope. And that's something I really don't want to have happen.
12.Dreamer- Sounds like a McCartney song, eh? Well, maybe I am. Whenever I'm driving down the highways in the morning, no cars around, I dream of just keeping on going. When I go past the airport I think of just getting on a plane and flying to an exotic destination. I love to live vicariously through people who get to go places, see things do things I've never had a chance to do.
13. Politicizer/Justice Seeker- POLITICS. Especially lately. Everywhere I look I see politics. On the
street, on Facebook, in yards, on cars, and boy does it make my blood boil. I clump these two together because I feel like our politicians on both sides, are screwing over the little guys. I know of people working four jobs, and currently seeks another two. The bible says to love each other, and help others, and I'm sorry, that means everyone, not just the people on the same side of the isle.
Okay, so that's a list of 13 things I am, and that's just off the top of my head!! As I was wraping up the list, I realized there are three MAJOR things not on there. Number one, a sister. My sister and I don't always see eye to eye. Okay, the only thing we see eye to eye on, is literally, eye to eye. We are the exact same height. Maybe I'm a bad sister, I dunno. I'm not always the most supportive in the world. I also have a big mouth and WILL say what I think when I think, whether it's appreciated or not! We are total, 100% polar opposites. I don't make an effort like I should. I can use distance as an excuse, but then she comes to town and I still don't see her. Maybe as time goes that will change, I hope it does.
The next thing I'm missing on there is being a Christian. I believe in God, I believe in heaven, I believe in (most) of the bible. However, it's not something that happens in my everyday life. (Let's hope my pastor's don't read this!) I have friends who live their lives around God. Awesome! That's not who I am. I struggle with the existence. If God controls EVERYTHING, why is there famine? Why is there hate? Why is it we aren't helping everyone? Why are there natural disasters that kills thousands? Why are there some people who get looks, money, personality, love and fame and others who have to work their butts off just to get a third part time job as they come home to an empty house with no love? I would think God would be an equal opportunity god...
Finally, the last thing on my list, which should definitely be on there, is Cara. I am who I am. All these things shape me, day in and day out. While I'm not the best at being everything I am the best at being Cara. Whether that's being a shoulder to cry on, or punching a bag as hard as I can, what more is there, except being me?!
Friday, July 22, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Rambles...with a purpose!!
Oh...my...gosh! So this weather is just killing me! It's now been in the 90's for the last few days, and I'm ready for it to break! Part of the hardest part is that I'm sitting at home, looking out the window and dreaming of being out, and being active!
What's worse is that the boredom takes over and I get into my grazing modes. Rather than eating the small five meals a day I should, I just kinda dig through the cupboards thinking "Oh...this sounds good!" Then I eat it and think to myself "Oh, that wasn't as good as I thought!" Then I think "Oh crap, why did I just eat that?!" *sigh* I'm telling you my friends, this needs to stop (the weather and the grazing!)
But, as many of you know, when you're bored, it's SO hard to say no. It's hard to grab that chicken rather than the simple bowl of cereal. Or, the chicken rather than that big, juicy, delicious hot dog, right off the grill!!
HOWEVER, I DID go running today, in about 90 degree weather! Can I just tell you, when it's that hot out, you can go about half the distance and get, what feels like, just as difficult of workout! Fhew! My shirt changed colors in only 20 minutes!!!
Anyway, yes, this was just a bunch of ramble, but it help me let my frustrations out, and this damn grazing habit of mine needs to stop! SO, now that you all know, I can move on and once more get back to that thing I like to call AWESOMENSS!!!
What's worse is that the boredom takes over and I get into my grazing modes. Rather than eating the small five meals a day I should, I just kinda dig through the cupboards thinking "Oh...this sounds good!" Then I eat it and think to myself "Oh, that wasn't as good as I thought!" Then I think "Oh crap, why did I just eat that?!" *sigh* I'm telling you my friends, this needs to stop (the weather and the grazing!)
But, as many of you know, when you're bored, it's SO hard to say no. It's hard to grab that chicken rather than the simple bowl of cereal. Or, the chicken rather than that big, juicy, delicious hot dog, right off the grill!!
HOWEVER, I DID go running today, in about 90 degree weather! Can I just tell you, when it's that hot out, you can go about half the distance and get, what feels like, just as difficult of workout! Fhew! My shirt changed colors in only 20 minutes!!!
Anyway, yes, this was just a bunch of ramble, but it help me let my frustrations out, and this damn grazing habit of mine needs to stop! SO, now that you all know, I can move on and once more get back to that thing I like to call AWESOMENSS!!!
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Terrified
So, there are very few things in life that TRULY scare me. I don't like horror movies, but I can close my eyes and it's gone. Not a fan of tight spaces, but I know I'll get out of it soon. I want to jump out of planes and I'm working on other little phobias. There's one thing, however, that every time I think about it, I start doubting everything about life and start shaking in my shoes a bit.
About three weeks and some odd days, I am going to get the measurement. Not just any measurement, THE measurement. The one that will make me go to the recruiter or not. Again, I know with the 1% over I'm good to get in, but I want SOOO bad to meet those damn standards.
Part of the reason of this new found fear, is for some reason this past month has been a lot of extra stress. Colin and I had to move, which means we ate out A LOT!! We cleaned our fridge out and discovered that Shakopee had many yummy restaurants. On top of eating out, because I lost my job, I had to take a whole month off bootcamp. That was harder than anything I think. Not only did I not have my butt kicked three days a week, but I got VERY used to sleeping in until 8:30 every morning. Well, when you have no job, I felt I had no reason to get up. This in turn lead to more laziness and drowsiness. A vicious cycle. The whole month was just off!!
So to make up for a BAD month, I've upped the exercise. I've added a lot more running into the program again, I'm back to Gorilla five or six days a week, and best yet, I'm back at my bootcamp. I did start the 28 days diet again, but for some reason, my body did not take well to it this time. I think with the stress of all these changes plus then adding a whole new diet, just was too much at once!
Anyway, so maybe it's just a whole bunch of excuses, but all I know is I am so nervous. August 8th is going to be my official measure date. If all goes well, I'm heading to that recruiter's office August 9th.
Breathe in, breathe out. Everything WILL happen when it's time. Now I just have to convince myself of that...
About three weeks and some odd days, I am going to get the measurement. Not just any measurement, THE measurement. The one that will make me go to the recruiter or not. Again, I know with the 1% over I'm good to get in, but I want SOOO bad to meet those damn standards.
Part of the reason of this new found fear, is for some reason this past month has been a lot of extra stress. Colin and I had to move, which means we ate out A LOT!! We cleaned our fridge out and discovered that Shakopee had many yummy restaurants. On top of eating out, because I lost my job, I had to take a whole month off bootcamp. That was harder than anything I think. Not only did I not have my butt kicked three days a week, but I got VERY used to sleeping in until 8:30 every morning. Well, when you have no job, I felt I had no reason to get up. This in turn lead to more laziness and drowsiness. A vicious cycle. The whole month was just off!!
So to make up for a BAD month, I've upped the exercise. I've added a lot more running into the program again, I'm back to Gorilla five or six days a week, and best yet, I'm back at my bootcamp. I did start the 28 days diet again, but for some reason, my body did not take well to it this time. I think with the stress of all these changes plus then adding a whole new diet, just was too much at once!
Anyway, so maybe it's just a whole bunch of excuses, but all I know is I am so nervous. August 8th is going to be my official measure date. If all goes well, I'm heading to that recruiter's office August 9th.
Breathe in, breathe out. Everything WILL happen when it's time. Now I just have to convince myself of that...
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