It's so funny how, you are SO set on a path then all of the sudden something happens that makes you think something TOTALLY different!!
For the last 7 months I have been training SO hard to get into OCS. The work I have done has exceeded all my my expectations! When, a couple months ago, I sat down with one of my dad's friends', ret. Col. Ayote. A wonderful man, incredibly knowledgeable about the military! And, he mention ROTC. At first I just brushed it off like it was the "easy" way out. I went today and talked to the ROTC people. I walked out of there more confused than ever!!
One of the BIGGEST downsides to going the ROTC route, is I would have to give up on my Marine dream. The thought is beyond heartbreaking to me. As I found out when I called and got more information, the rude lady on the phone said "Um, that might be the army, but we don't allow grad students to be in ROTC!" With attitude! I wanted to be like "F-U lady! Up your nose with a rubber hose!" I just don't know how willing I am to toss my hands up and be like "oh, well, I tried!" I can't! That's not me!!
The plus side to ROTC: I would get a FREE masters degree, as well as my commission in the army. I also would get to spend the next two years with Colin, actually being a family. I would get to celebrate Christmas, go to the state fair, enjoy life! Again, plus a free masters degree! That's something that will never leave me!
Again though, how willing am I to turn my back on the Marines? For the last seven months, I eat, sleep and breathe Marines! They have gotten me to here! I Love the Marines. I want to be one of the few and the proud! My heart is SO split it's not even funny! My mind is in SO many directions, and it's amazing how hard this is!!
I need advice from family, my friends, and yeah, I'm tuning to religion, I need help from God! I am meant for the military, I know I am! But....where???
It's not a question of military or not military; it's a question of WHICH military. You have some struggles ahead, my dear, and you have made it to this point with all that is needed to get you to your next point. The answer is inside you. You can do this, too. You've proven you can do anything-- even the hard stuff, and this is probably the hardest thing you'll have to do.
ReplyDeleteThe Marines have been your dream! It's what you've wanted to do! Saying that the thought is beyond heartbreaking says a lot to me and I can tell you don't want to give that up.
ReplyDeleteI'll admit, I don't know - will having a master's help you in your military career?
It's a fantastic thought to be able to spend some time being a 'normal' family with your husband. You don't, however, want to start regretting and then resenting your husband/your grad life/the army because they made you give up on your dream.
hey, cara. i know your mom from church.
ReplyDeletemy mom used to work in the Naval ROTC (NROTC) program at IA State. i'm pretty sure the NROTC programs was for both Naval and Marine officers in training...i think because technically the Marines are a division of the Navy. my husband was in the Marines, but he's out of town right now or i would ask him to confirm.
Good luck with your decision.