Perfection is the name of the game:

Okay, so here's my issue with diets. They work, and they continue to work, until you get comfortable with them. When you get comfortable is when you put their guidelines away and say "Yeah, I'm pretty sure this would be acceptable, after all, it's a lot like _______."  And that my friends, is the state I'm in right now...bad bad bad!

So this week I'm rededicating myself. I'm only 3 weeks into my diet, so let's be honest, there isn't a whole lot to "rededicate myself" to. At least that's what I thought until I retook a look at my diet sheet.  Seems I've been snipping a few corners here and there. Yeah, I'm still loosing, but who's to say that if I go back to 100% I won't loose twice as quickly?

That's my personal goal for this week. Follow the diet 100%. Make sure I'm getting all my water in, staying slightly active but not overly active, not grazing (even if it is on protein and other healthy stuff) and continue on my supplements.

Oh, and if you haven't heard, I'm a mere SEVEN pounds away from my goal weight...holy crap, seven!! My other goal, is to go back to MEPS the week of June 18th. My sister and nephew are going to be in town from Baltimore.  (**Okay, personal mushy stuff, stop if you must, continue if you'd like**) Well, my sister and I have not seen eye to eye for about, oh, 27 years now. I always looked at her as successful, strong, beautiful, and I got the hand-me-downs.  I've been learning this past three years that we're just very different. However, she is my big sister, and now she has an offspring whom I love just as much. I want to make them both so proud of me.  Being from a very Liberal family, the military was never thought of as an option. And when I first decided to join (seriously join) I don't think it was the proudest moment of my sister's life.  However, being the person that she is, she has been nothing but 110% supportive. I don't think there's anything I could ask for more than to have my entire family there when I swear in!  While he may not remember it, I want someone to look at August someday and say "you were there when this whole thing started!" (**Okay, done with cheesy!**) So, the week of June 18th, everyone will be in town, and I'd love to make it an extra awesome time! :)

So this week, my goal is another 1 to 2 pounds gone.  Drink at least 80 ounces of water.  Workout correctly. And be aware of every single bite I'm taking!

Last nights adventure of section 220

Okay, so I worked at the Target Center last night, and had a night unlike ANY other I've ever experienced there before, and absolutely had to share it with everyone: 


The first incident happened with 5 minutes left in the first quarter.  I looked out my well and saw a young man (probably about 11 years old) hitting and spitting at his guardian and whipping his zipped sweatshirt at her.  She grabbed his arms and put him in a straight jacket type hold.  He fell to the ground and started screaming bloody murder. I've never heard anything like this!   I asked if I could assist and she had me call security and wanted the Minneapolis police. I had other spectators coming by asking if they could help, too. So security came about 5 minutes later, and this kid continued to hyper ventilate and flip out on EVERYONE who came near him.  Finally, his mother was called and the boy was taken home. The reason he was acting like that? His quote, I'm not lying, "I'M TIRED!!!!!!"  Oh boy...

The next incident happened after my break just barely into the 3rd quarter.  I came around the corner and the same guardian from the same group and she asked if I could help again.  She asked if I had found a shoe.  As I called in, the two other boys in the group were standing in a hall, arguing with each other.  While I was radioing in the lost shoe, one boy took the other boys hat and chucked it down the hall.  When the one ran after it, cussing at the other bot, I was still waiting for an answer on the radio.  As I looked at the second little boy (probably about 6 years old)I smiled at him, and he glared VERY evily at me and said "You're a fucking bitch!" As soon as he did that he went and tried to start kicking me and even got a brush against my leg. The guardian had to lift him out of the way to not kick me hard. On a note about these people:  They received a $1000 check for their organization before the game ever started and was recognized on the court for their outstanding work with youth!! Oh boy!!

After this group finally left, I was called over to section 216.  The woman in the lifetech room was having a heart attack. Her daughter was out in the hallway freaking out due to lost keys. Okay, not just freaking out, but seriously FREAKING THE HECK OUT!!!  As I was up in the stands looking for her keys, a gentleman informed me their keys were tossed several rows down and they saw a girl "pick something up and put it in her purse."  So after being asked three times about the keys, by Jen my supervisor, Scott from security and me, the girls denied it all. I asked the man who saw them pick it up if he'd be willing to talk to police about what he saw, and at first he refused. He didn't just refuse he said "Talk to the Cops? OH HELL NO! I hate cops!!"  UGH!!!!!!!    Finally the man came down and had a few words about the girls to the police and told them what he saw.  After Jen went up and asked the girls to come down the girls willingly came down and talked to police.  On their way back up the stairs, like teenage girls, they were cussing up a storm, but my favorite was: "GAW, they're so ignorant!!!"  HA!  Finally the group left. However, the daughter who lost the keys (who, by the way, is also a nurse and refused to help her mom) had no money for a bus or taxi to get to a hospital. Well, that wasn't an issue considering the husband of the heart attack woman, just wanted to take her home right away instead of going to a damn hospital!!!!  These people are morons! So, FINALLY, they all left for a hospital!

SO, that was my night!! It was very surreal and honestly, with the second incident, I felt threatened.  This kid was seeing red and, had he been armed with ANYTHING, he would have hurt me.  With the lack of ushers upstairs, I had to deal with a two or three person job alone.  Not often am I that scared, ESPECIALLY of a kid! (Heck, I taught low income middle schoolers, I didn't think anything could be worse!) Anyway, that is that! My adventure in section 220!!

Peeves o' dieting

So I was craving something sweet today.  Peanut butter cookies as a matter of fact.  Well, I had a genius idea today that I'm going back to my "pre-MEPS" diet.  Aka, little food, few carbs and lots and LOTS of veggies and proteins.  


So craving cookies right now was a bad body choice. That's when I was thankful to have to the internet.  Well, searching Google I've found one of the really bad things about dieting...it seems the more limits of your diet, the more complicated recipes get! I'm sorry, I don't have time to mix a million things, I want quick, easy, and yummy. Really, is that so hard??


Yes.  Yes it is as a matter of fact.  So, I decided, for you, I'm going to share a couple of the simple recipes I have found that I LOVE and are also simple! 


1. Protein Pancakes:
1/4 C Egg Whites
1 Scoop Protein Powder (Vanilla)
2 Tbsp Milk
1 Tbsp ground flax seed (believe it or not, it's something super easy to find anywhere!)
Cinnamon and stevia
Splash of vanilla
1 Tbsp gluten free pancake mix.


Directions: Mix together in bowl, cook as regular pancakes. (They turn out more like a crepe, but still have an awesome pancake like texture, so it really solves that craving!)




2. Protein cookies:
1/4 C Applesauce
Cinnamon to taste
1 Tbsp Baking powder
2 Tbsp Protein powder
1/4 C egg white
2 C oats
1/2 C Peanut Butter
1/2 C dark chocolate chips


Directions: Preheat oven to 350. 
Mix together in bowl.  
PLace on greased cookie sheet. 
Bake approx 20 minutes.  
Badda bing, badda boom!




3. Cheese spread:
1/2 C margarine
3 tsp chopped garlic
1/8 tsp black pepper
1/4 C light parmesan cheese
1 C grated light cheddar cheese


Directions: Preheat oven to 450. Microwave margarine until about half melted. Mix all ingredients in bowl.  Spread over bread (sour dough is yummy). bake about 10 minutes until golden brown.






4.PIZZA!

Low carb Tortilla

Pizza Sauce

Toppings of choice (light cheese and lots of veggies!)

Directions: Grease baking sheet. 

Put sauce on Tortilla. 

Use toppings of your choice (reduced fat cheeses work best and are healthiest)

Bake at 350 until edges are crisp and brown. 

Cut and serve like mini pizzas.

5. Chicken Tenders

Ingredients:

Chicken Breast

Corn Flakes

Egg Substitue

Directions:

Chop chicken into strips. Preheat oven to 350. 

Put corn flakes in heavy duty zip lock bag and smash into crumbs. 

With eggs in bowl, dip chicken strip into eggs. 

Put in bag and shake till completely coated. 

Put on Baking sheet, bake until brown

Use honey or BBQ sauce for dipping

6. Healthy Apple Crisp:

Healthy Apple Crisp:

Ingredients: 

1/4 C egg whites

1/8 teaspoon salt


cinnamon to taste

1/2 cup brown sugar (I use the Splenda brown sugar)

4 cups milk


2 cups  oats


2 large apples (2-3 cups), cored and diced

Whipped Cream

Instructions: 

1. In medium-large mixing bowl, lightly beat the eggs. Stir in salt, cinnamon, brown sugar, milk, oats, and apples.

2. Pour mixture into a greased 9x13-inch baking dish. Bake uncovered at 350 degrees for 40 minutes or until hot, bubbly, and mostly set in the middle.

Serve warm in bowls with milk on top for a delicious breakfast, or serve warm with whipped cream on top for a yummy healthy dessert  






So there are just a few of my favorites!! As soon as I get more recipes, I'll send it your way!!

Finding Zen (Oh look, there he is!)

When I set on this journey three years ago, I knew it was going to be difficult, but I also knew I'd have a ton of support along the way.  One of the things I'm discovering about me, is my passion for working out, for being healthy and for helping others.  Finding this passion is the very first step into finding my zen.

However, there's a lot more to it.  I know what I love to do, and I know what my passion is, but how do I fully get to it? The first thing was trying to get out of my head that I can't achieve it.  The biggest obstacle there was my own mind.  Learning to conquer that, that's always going to be a never ending battle!  The one thing I am able to control however, is how those thoughts effect me.

I learned a something the other day that has stuck with me, and is helping me learn my own mind.  They said "Don't try to fight your thoughts.  They are your thoughts and you will lose.  Let them come, think them, acknowledge them, let them go." For the last week, everytime a thought has come to mind that I've been trying to forget or trying to let go of, I stopped fighting them.  When I realized, this is me talking to me, I let those thoughts in.  HOWEVER, the difference is, when I let them in, I was able to release them.  Money issues, weight problems, friends, family, whatever it may be.  Instead of fighting with my own thoughts, I embrace them.

Now don't get my wrong, I still get those knots in my stomach thinking about things.  My nerves are still very present, but I know now how not to let them rule me. It's teamwork within yourself.  Once you figure out, they're thoughts, not your actions, it's so much easier to let them all go!

P.S.  Sometimes finding your Zen requires a little help from others (No, not like the Daily Show's moment of Zen!) So here are a couple thoughts to help ease and clear your mind!

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.”


“You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.”


“We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.”


“Your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart to give yourself to it.”


(Buddha has it right I tell ya!) 

4 years

Four years ago today, I got to marry my best friend!  Everyday I count my blessings that I met this man.  While there have been many ups and downs, I don't think there's anyone I would rather have been spending my life with.

Most people say "if you can make it through the first five years, you're in the clear!" Well, we're almost to that point, but in these last four, the two of us have grown so much as a couple.  Surviving our second deployment together before we even got to celebrate a year together, was just about the most difficult thing we could have done. But we made it together, with the help of our family and friends. 

We've dealt with job losses, money problems, car issues, dish issues, parental issues, and anything and everything in between.  But we got to also have mornings together, we have two wonderful puppies, and we are starting a life that will be all our own.  We are planning our trips around the world and excited to MAYBE start a family someday.

While we've been together for four years, our lives are just beginning.  Have anniversary to my hubby, my soldier, my monkey, my best friend, my lover, my Colin!

Discovery of Me

Three years ago when I started this little trip of mine, I thought it was all about weight loss.  I thought if I could achieve that, I'd be beyond happy. All my problems would go away, and Colin and I could live in our happily ever after world.  While that is the main point of all of this, what I've discovered, especially since my last trip to MEPS, is that it's about a WHOLE lot more.

In these three years, okay, more the last 6 months, I've really discovered who I am.  In the last couple weeks, I've found a whole new state of mind. One of which has changed my outlook, and made me realize, while losing is important, there are so many other things in life that are making my thoughts toxic and stopping me from reaching those goals.  My mind was so focused on what others had and I didn't.  What others were doing to sabotage my goals, rather than me strictly focusing on how to overcome it.  My mind was so negative.

Several days ago I lost a "friend."  Rather than talking to me about her issues, she simply took me off Facebook and left it at that. I was mad. I wasn't mad at the fact that I lost a friend, what I was mad about was that she simply took me off Facebook and left it at that.  For about an hour, I was thinking to myself "she has some nerve, after all that I've done for her..." Well, as these thoughts were going through my head, I was getting madder and madder. I was hoping for something bad to happen...I know, not good. But come on, who hasn't wished ill on those who've done them wrong?!?

Well, when I was getting mad, I was on Facebook and one of the many groups I belong to posted this:

Next to it, read the following:

If you believe in karma, then you must understand that harboring evil thoughts of revenge and malice, towards those who have wronged you, is only hurting yourself.

This is like picking up a red hot coal and waiting for the chance to throw it at your enemy. While you wait for your chance, and contemplate thoughts of retaliation, that coal is cooking you alive. In the same way, negative thoughts of revenge eat away at your mind and spirit.

Your thoughts contain energy, and that energy affects you directly. Negative energy affects you in a negative way; positive energy affects you in a positive way. Bohdi Sanders ~ Warrior Wisdom

You know those moments in life when all of the sudden the world just makes sense? Like everything is clear and you actually understand.  That was the moment I had.  I realized for the last three years, I was holding onto resentment to those who had I don't.  I was mad at the people who were achieving all these things and I'm still stuck in the starters box.  Well, literally in one moment, all those thoughts of hate, anger, jealously, resentment, ALL went away...completely.  Something in those words I read changed my view on life itself.  The worries of a thousand worries were lifted.

It's amazing, I feel like I've discovered more in the last week now than I have this whole time!!

Part of this life analysis is finding what I want to pass onto future generations.  How can I give this feeling of happiness and satisfaction onto my nephew, or my kids someday. That's when I found my next step on this journey.

Ethos is a Greek word meaning "character" that's used to describe guiding beliefs or ideals that characterize, in my situation, an ideology. The ideology of how I want to live my life.  My next step is discovering and finding my own ethos.  With finding this, I will write my "Cara's Creed." THIS, is what I will pass on. It's who I will vow to be, and strive to be, day in and day out.  It's not something that comes just sitting around. It's going to take time and effort, and a whole lot more soul searching. 

Maybe it'll come in a week, maybe a month, maybe a year. I don't know, but all I know is, I have a way of living my life now.  I won't hold resentments. I'm not mad about the stupid things.  I'll be more accepting of others and their views.  Now how do you put these thoughts and feelings into words...

I think that'll be a whole other blog............

2012 still heading down the right track!

It was brought to my attention the other day, (eh-hem, MOM) that I haven't updated this thing in a while. Well, so much has been happening, that it's been hard to find the time!

On the military front, I DID go back to MEPS, and the woman screwed me over royally, again.  When they measured my neck, she was practically strangling me! When it came to my waist, she twisted the tape, and left it hanging.  For my hips, she measured at the wrong area (I've been measured so many times, I know exactly where to measure...everyone else can seem to get it right, except the idiots who "count")  Stupid women...they couldn't make it anywhere else so they just think it's fun to mess with the people who WANT to do something with their lives.  HOWEVER, when I stepped on the scale, I found out I was the lightest weight I've ever been in my adult life! How awesome is that?! I put part of that accomplishment on the fact that I was starving myself and killing myself the few days before.

That following weekend, I gave myself three recovery days. I ate what I wanted and it felt really good. I had subway (on the bread) twice, I had chicken wings AND bread sticks, and loved every second of it!  I stepped on the scale, and was SO happy, because I had only gained two pounds back! So I'm STILL at my lowest weight.  Now, I'm severely restricting my carbs (to workout carbs only) and upping the cardio like crazy.  To start with, I've been trying to do an hour of cardio at the gym, 3 to 4 times a week. Starting this week (hopefully) I'm going to be doing the Insanity cardio workout program.  Apparently it's  incredibly difficult.  That is AWESOME! I cannot wait to give it a shot!

So, I ran into a friend last night that I hadn't seen in a while.  And his first reaction was "holy crap, you have lost a lot!" I was thinking "YESSSS!!!!" Heehee! Good times!

I get to go back to MEPS when I drop 10 pounds (I know, 10, that's it!) So, I'm turning up the notch on the dieting and exercising! And I realized, when I drop that 10, I will have lost 100 pounds! Yeah, I know, 100 freakin' pounds!!!

On the jobs front, things aren't looking quite as cheery! I've been applying but boy it's still a tough economy out there. However, starting next month, I am working every single night! I'm starting my training for the Minnesota Twins,  (I just have to add, over 200 people applied and only 25 got the job...Woop!) and the basketball tournaments are happening at Target Center!

So, there will be cash rolling in, and that will help me sleep a little better at night!

Oh, I'M AN AUNTY!!! Little August was born a couple weeks early, and he is as precious as precious can be and totally healthy! I got to visit him already, but no, I didn't hold him.  Kids scare the crap out of me until they can function on their own a little bit.  Like holding their heads up, smiling and reacting to things.  I don't know what it is, but I don't like being responsible for something SO innocent and helpless, even if it is just to hold him.  Well, if this money thing keeps happening, I should be able to afford going out there this summer to see him, even just for a few days!  I am lucky to have the greatest nephew ever!  (I know, I have a biased opinion, but it just happens to be the right one!)

Well, time to get back to the real world! Workouts, working and diets...sounds like a damn good life to me!