In these three years, okay, more the last 6 months, I've really discovered who I am. In the last couple weeks, I've found a whole new state of mind. One of which has changed my outlook, and made me realize, while losing is important, there are so many other things in life that are making my thoughts toxic and stopping me from reaching those goals. My mind was so focused on what others had and I didn't. What others were doing to sabotage my goals, rather than me strictly focusing on how to overcome it. My mind was so negative.
Several days ago I lost a "friend." Rather than talking to me about her issues, she simply took me off Facebook and left it at that. I was mad. I wasn't mad at the fact that I lost a friend, what I was mad about was that she simply took me off Facebook and left it at that. For about an hour, I was thinking to myself "she has some nerve, after all that I've done for her..." Well, as these thoughts were going through my head, I was getting madder and madder. I was hoping for something bad to happen...I know, not good. But come on, who hasn't wished ill on those who've done them wrong?!?
Well, when I was getting mad, I was on Facebook and one of the many groups I belong to posted this:
Next to it, read the following:
If you believe in karma, then you must understand that harboring evil thoughts of revenge and malice, towards those who have wronged you, is only hurting yourself.
This is like picking up a red hot coal and waiting for the chance to throw it at your enemy. While you wait for your chance, and contemplate thoughts of retaliation, that coal is cooking you alive. In the same way, negative thoughts of revenge eat away at your mind and spirit.
Your thoughts contain energy, and that energy affects you directly. Negative energy affects you in a negative way; positive energy affects you in a positive way. Bohdi Sanders ~ Warrior Wisdom
This is like picking up a red hot coal and waiting for the chance to throw it at your enemy. While you wait for your chance, and contemplate thoughts of retaliation, that coal is cooking you alive. In the same way, negative thoughts of revenge eat away at your mind and spirit.
Your thoughts contain energy, and that energy affects you directly. Negative energy affects you in a negative way; positive energy affects you in a positive way. Bohdi Sanders ~ Warrior Wisdom
You know those moments in life when all of the sudden the world just makes sense? Like everything is clear and you actually understand. That was the moment I had. I realized for the last three years, I was holding onto resentment to those who had I don't. I was mad at the people who were achieving all these things and I'm still stuck in the starters box. Well, literally in one moment, all those thoughts of hate, anger, jealously, resentment, ALL went away...completely. Something in those words I read changed my view on life itself. The worries of a thousand worries were lifted.
It's amazing, I feel like I've discovered more in the last week now than I have this whole time!!
Part of this life analysis is finding what I want to pass onto future generations. How can I give this feeling of happiness and satisfaction onto my nephew, or my kids someday. That's when I found my next step on this journey.
Ethos is a Greek word meaning "character" that's used to describe guiding beliefs or ideals that characterize, in my situation, an ideology. The ideology of how I want to live my life. My next step is discovering and finding my own ethos. With finding this, I will write my "Cara's Creed." THIS, is what I will pass on. It's who I will vow to be, and strive to be, day in and day out. It's not something that comes just sitting around. It's going to take time and effort, and a whole lot more soul searching.
Maybe it'll come in a week, maybe a month, maybe a year. I don't know, but all I know is, I have a way of living my life now. I won't hold resentments. I'm not mad about the stupid things. I'll be more accepting of others and their views. Now how do you put these thoughts and feelings into words...
I think that'll be a whole other blog............
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