Talking to a battle buddy today, she was very upset. She was upset because her boy left her. As females, we know how that feels. We know what it's like to have our heart broken in two and feel like we will NEVER find that special someone. (I know guys feel that way too, but women tend to wear their emotions on their sleeves more...) She asked me how I went on, how I stayed strong when my heart was breaking. I told her it takes work, and it does. But as I was watching the movie I was at, and the lead female needed the male to succeed in her goals, it made me wonder, why do we rely so heavily upon someone else for our happiness and to measure our success?
I know so many males who are content to sit in a room alone for hours, even days if you'd let them. I was sitting at home today on my couch alone and I felt like the biggest loser ever! It's silly I know, but for some reason I did. The way the female mind is wired, I think, is we are at our best when we're multi-tasking and doing more than one thing at a time. We feel we need to be surrounded by people, at least a person, to feel content. (That's just my amateur Freud moment) The same idea as to why we need to go to the bathroom in pairs! If we're alone, we must be lonely.
But back to my "for the girls" topic. Ladies, here's the deal. Since I've been in the Army, I've met some of the most amazing women, ever! However, I've also met the type that will completely tear you down just to get ahead. We, as a gender, already have a stigma against us. We're not as capable, we're not as good and we shouldn't be doing a "man's" job. Okay, there are some jobs more suited towards the male gender, I won't lie. It's simple that males TEND to be stronger than females. However, we get torn down all the time, it's time we start helping each other. We need to be there for each other, to lift each other up. We can show the world (again) that we're just as awesome! Stop comparing ourselves, and share our strengths with each other.
As for the male thing that got this started... I'm not turning this into an anti male, go femanazi type blog. Because I like them, okay I love them. I truly believe in soul mates and I believe that having that special someone, really does make us happier. I'm also a firm believer in being partners in life, rather than subordinates. I believe that we should ride side by side, not one behind each other. There's the saying "behind every good man, is a good woman." I'm going to beg to differ. I believe behind a strong man or woman, is a companion who will stand next to them through any situation.
I also think before we can really love someone, like truly fall in love, we have to fall in love with ourselves. SO cliche, I know, but it's really true. If you don't learn what your passions are in life, if you keep putting yourself on the back burner, you'll never know what you really need. You need to love yourself!
How do you do that you may ask? Well that one is totally up to you. Finding out how to love you is an endless battle but one, if you haven't started, I suggest you do it. For me? I'm going to be on this path for a long time. Before I started even liking myself, I was struggling. We all get to that breaking point of "I need to do something..." For me it was a few weeks ago and life was throwing me a lot of curve balls, knuckles balls and any other awful pitch you can think of. For about one week, I cried every night. I got mad at the world and I questioned life! Then the weekend came up and I locked myself in my apartment and prayed really hard. The following week I realized, I had been living my life to "find a mate" shall we say. I had lost everything I gained before I left for basic training. I lost my love of fitness, of being healthy, I lost my confidence and simply being positive about life. I realized that week, I needed to learn to be again. Do what makes ME happy.
Like I said, you have to take your journey. It might be like mine, it might not be, but I do know that as females we love hard. We take things personally. We think of every worst senerio possible. We tend to put ourselves second (or third, or fourth, or fifth!) We think if we're not doing everything perfect, we've failed. It's time to stop thinking like that. It's time to find that passion for life again.
My final thought on this matter is don't be afraid to dream big and love deep. We're so afraid to get hurt we hold back. Live in the moment, we only get so many.
If you take ANYTHING from this, here's what I hope. I hope you learn to help and love each other, rather than bring each other down. I hope you learn how to love life, how to love yourself. I hope you really appreciate everyday that you wakeup and smile and know the world is a better place because you're in it! (And to the girls with broken hearts, know that you're going to be fine. You're strong, you're capable, you're awesome. If anyone makes you feel otherwise, obviously they weren't right and didn't deserve the love and support you brought. Don't let it get you down!)
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