To Hell, and not yet back.

Have you ever wanted to know what Hell was like? Well, come with me, take a walk in my shoes for the last three weeks.  Since I was so kindly rejected at MEPS, my life seems to have been going in a downward spiral, quickly.  Day after day has there have been new hurdles that seem to be challenging me and wanting to trip me up. At this point, they are successful in doing so.

From loan denials because of Colin's FIRST deployment (in 2002), losing my job that I had for a whopping week 'cus they decided to move to Canada over night, to no employer returning my calls, to US Bank and USAA f-in me over TWICE in a month, Colin's car going to s**t, plus Tony hurting himself and needing stitches.  And that my friends, is just the tip of the iceberg!!  It's ya know, those little things that add up really quickly each and every day. It's that "oh I'm out of gas and need to drive downtown" time, or the "well, that person cut me off and almost ran me into a ditch" or the "I really need someone to talk to, but no one is there" moment.  Best yet, because of our financial situation, Colin has decided to deploy again so we can start a whole new life together.  If/when he gets accepted and his profile is clear, off to Afghanistan my soldier will go...again.  (Oh yeah, and Spike spit up a hairball on my pants this morning within half n hour of when I woke up...)

I'm being put in situations I've never been in, and am struggling with it.  I'm struggling every single day to figure out WHY God is putting me in the shoes s/he is.  Is it because I did something to piss God off, or because when all this crap is done, I'm going to be one hell of a strong person?  They say everything happens for a reason but I am really starting to doubt it. 

So if someone would please fill me in as to what God's plan is, I would really appreciate it.