Vulnerability

Since I've started this, what's turning into LONG venture, there have been a lot of ups and downs, most of which I've shared with all of you on here. Well my friends, I'm now at a point where I'm feeling an emotion I haven't felt yet. Vulnerable. 

I'm so flattered that all of you think I am strong 24/7, but I tell you, there are some hours where I want to hide under a table and cry and cry. Lately this emotion has been overtaking me. While I'm still loving my workouts and even diets, sometimes enough is enough. I'm weak. Right now, at this time, I'm not the strong roll model you all have come to know and love. 

I love knowing that I can lift you guys up when you're struggling. Part of the reason I'm still going is knowing that you all are inspired to reach your goals! Right now, I'm asking for your help. I'm so tired of fighting this battle, day after day. I need your help to keep me strong! I won't lie, I want to give up! My mind and heart are constantly at odds and believe me, it gets REALLY tiring! 

Sometimes I can't always get across just how I feel, so I'm sharing with you two songs that .

In the roses, in the spring, I remember
There was a time I wasn't afraid of anything
With the lilacs and the rain
One day you went away
I remember
I forgot everything

My mother's always trying to tell me
How to be grateful, how to believe
My father's always trying to say
Baby, you're beautiful in every way
My lover's always got me in his arms
Trying to protect me, keep me from harm
So why do I always have to be
My worst, my own worst enemy

In the shadows, in the grays, in the lonely

There is a place
Where we can all hide away
But in the windows of the soul
There is nowhere we can go
If we keep running
Running from our destiny

Say I walk on water
Say I walk on the moon
But it's never enough
No it's never enough, no it's never enough
Say I'm only human
It's all in my head
But it's never enough
No it's never enough, no it's never enough
One day I'll find my alibi

So, what is my destiny?? I guess I don't know right now, but I must say, no matter what happens, I'm grateful to have come this far with all of you!!